Bite#17

Well here we are. Since my last post I have been divorced, moved twice, got a new job, been in two car accidents, lost my house, got a car repo'ed, declared bankruptcy, started drinking again, had to call the police 4 or 5 time about my ex wife, met a great girl, lost a great friend because of my own stupidness.

I now give about half my pay a month to my ex although we have joint 50% custody of our kids. Ever have to eat a bowl of cereal for dinner or go without just so your kids had something to eat? Or put off rent checks so you might be able to get something for your kids at Christmas? I have been told "you can only go up from here" bullshit every time I hit rock bottom the floor gives way and I fall again.


I still live pure and simple.

Bite #16

SSDD got a new place and all moved in still trying to get all the basics covered, still fighting the battle on all fronts but that is just the way things are just now. Things are getting interesting,and we shall see what comes of all the hard work that has taken up so much of my time as of late. Just got to keep it all together just a little longer.

"What was that?"

Bite#15

Been through conciling and was told that I operate on a different level than those around me,no shit lady! But all in all was also told that I have not been over reacting on the issues that have taken up so much of my time as of late. Yeah,wopee,oh well. Work still sucks and I am now in starting up my divorce,I do not wish any ill will toward my ex,in fact I do hope she has a better life than she had. As for me I am a survivor,I live to strive toward a better tomarrow. The trick is to make it to tomarrow! I just hope I could get fired,then I could go to work for someone I know and be happy. And anyone who sees this check out www.survivingtwilight.com it is a book that a good buddy of mine wrote about what happened to us while being over in Iraq. He worte it and had it published out of his own pocket just to tell the world of what was really going on,so please take a look and if you are so inclined order a copy. Now if you have read my blogs from the begining you will know I dont do promotions,nor do I get paid for damn near anything,so I am letting you know I will not get anything paid to me for posting this except giving you all a chance to hear our stories. And that is good enough for me!


"Take my love,take my land,take me where I cannot stand........"

Bite #14

It has been a while since my last post,and many things have happened. I still talk to my Dad every morning as I wake up, I still work at a lousy job that does not care about the people that works for it,I have been to counseling for my "anger and marriage" issues. I am still broke and getting deeper in debt,the seed money I had made to restart my life was spent by the second month back state-side. I have friends and family alike ask me how I can stay with my wife after all the shit she pulled,I do it for my sons. I had a plan to move with my family and start fresh,new place new jobs,the works.....I even fixed up my house to get it ready to sell,not an easy task with no money,but I did it......Then at the last moment my wife says she is not going to sell the house!!! We already had put down the earnest money on the new place,and were packing up the non-essentials and I get hit with this. That and a run in with a "boss"
made me decide to seek out counseling. All that did was tell me that yes I was justified to feel the way I was and that I had shown great restraint in my actions. One minute I got everything in my life sorted out and ready to go my way and bang!! Here comes the wreaking ball to knock my feet out from under me as well as the ground I was standing on! Fuck the silver lining I just want to see the cloud!

Bite#13

For the past two days I have been discovering the man who is my father. I went to visit my older brother and his family and possibly find my biological father of whom I knew nothing but a name. One internet search and two phone calls later I found my grandfather and was about two hours away from meeting my new/old Dad.I kept saying "It cant be this easy it just cant!" But it was and now I have a whole new life just open up to my eyes,complete with a wonderful set of new parents and a baby sister! Like I told my Dad for the first time in about two years I can feel my heart again! I was not expecting anything like this at all,we both are still trying to cope with finding ourselves in this new place but I am overjoyed at this personal act of God(that is all I can think that made this happen). We are the same with so many of our strenghts and flaws with enough differences to tell that we are our own people but anyone can tell at a glance that we are father and son. We can not redo the last 25 years but we can and will make the best of the next 25 and more.

Bite#12

Here we are now that I have been home for 6 months let me tell you what has happened. I went back to my old job which did not realize where I had gone,getting screwed by old job,can barely make my house payment let alone make it on time. People as a whole do not relize what the hell we went through for the past year and a half. I look forward to my drill dates just hoping to see the faces of those I served with. I find myself wondering when I can go back,for there was a real truth to life over there,you woke up and said"I can die today"and if you made it back to sleep when your day was done you said "I can die tonight" Once you face death and accept that it can happen at anytime or place you will find that you have no limits for what you can accomplish. Every day,every mission I looked death right in the face and said "Try your fucking best asshole I'm ready,lets see who walks away this time!" I AM STILL HERE AND LIVING!!!

bite#11

"I AM SOOO SHORT!!"

That is a term coined by soldiers.It means that their time in one place of duty is almost over and they can then return home for a time.It will be strange to once again be among people that are not trying to shoot at you every day.Or to see my kids by just walking to their room,or just call out to them.It will also be strange to be with my wife after all we have been thru in the past two years.But anything worth doing is worth doing right.The time is coming when I will be able to gather up my family in my arms and show them just how much they mean to me.I know that this blog seams a little off the normal rant,but Omni Mutainus(Everything Changes) and while it is not always for the better without change we stagnate and decay.